A Happy Close-Knit Family
Although everyone’s definition of a successful family varies from person to person, some experts on the field forged a working definition of what really is a “successful family” (Birch 1999 p 128). For example, Lewis and Looney (1983 p. 4) said that “a competent family should be able to raise children that will be able to raise their own families autonomously” when time comes. Moreover, “it must have an atmosphere where sufficient emotional support is all around sustaining a stabilizing maturation of personalities not only for children but for the parents as well” (Mellor & Mellor 2001).
If a family, according to these experts, achieves these tasks, the family is “successful. ” If it fails on the basis of this definition, then the family can be considered non-competent or dysfunctional. How then it is to establish a happy and close-knit family? What will be discussed in the following is based on facts gathered from interviews conducted by known Psychologists. For example, Dr. Gary Smalley (2005) asked some healthy families across America about what they believed to have contributed to their success as a family.
The answers, said Smalley, were basically the same: “We do a lot of activities together. ” Here are some “secrets” of happy and closely-knitted families: 1. They share meaningful time together (Burns 2008). Shared experiences are indispensable for a solid and happy family. It has been said that retired professional athletes have found the actual leaving of their team for good the most difficult part of their retirement. The realization that those years of work, training, and competing together are over is hard to imagine. Why? Because their experiences together have accumulated for them unforgettable memories.
In much the same way, strong families naturally are together in the most significant as well as in the meanest of circumstances. The earlier marriage vow of the couple, “for better and for worse” has become true and carried through in their life with their children. Of course, those who find this trait not characteristically theirs can yet work it out on their own. One way to establish this in a family is to arrange or schedule your time together (Smalley 2005). Make a plan to implement this. Ask: “What activity interests my family? ” What particular interest does my son or daughter have in mind?
” This can lead to a viable arrangement in schedule. 2. Build biblical values/family altar. No family will ever stand strong and truly happy without God at its center (Burns 2008 p 2). The Bible hints that parents instruction should start early in their children’s life. The establishment of the right values and morals are not activities which should be relegated to schools or churches. It should start at home, with the parents – and particularly the fathers, being the instructors. Parents are in a position in a child’s life which no one outside the family can occupy.
They are placed there by providence to build strong biblical values early on in a child’s life. Early decisions have permanent bearing for the rest of the kids’ lives. The encouragements, expressions of affection, and moral support are seen and felt at home (Krysan et al 1990). They are modeled primarily by parents. Being there for the kids and also for each other as husband and wife creates a great sense of security. Consciously giving time through listening and showing interest by asking and updating with each member of the family creates an atmosphere of love and trust.
Summary statement and Conclusion There are no perfect families but that doesn’t mean that the head of the family will not strive for a happy one (_No magic answers 1999). The ingredients are well-within reach and the investments can be had for the taking: time, effort and skills are elements that even the poorest will be able to possess when the will and inspiration are there. Many think that pursuing a happy and close-knit family is an impossible dream when one is in the actual living within a very dysfunctional, troubled and problem-ridden brood (No Magic Answers 1991).
However, the collective effort spearheaded by someone in the “leadership” of the home may spur the rest of the members to pursue the same objective of establishing a family time, nourishing and cherishing one another, enhancing the communication lines between them. As studies confirm, these are just some of the constructs (Krysan et al 1990) that make a happy home.
Birch, K Positive parenting. Milsons Point, NSW: Random House, 1999, 126p. Burns, Jim. The 10 Building Blocks for a Happy Family. Retrieved March 12, 2008. http://www. homeword.com/Freebies/Files/10_Building_Blocks_Happy_Family. pdf Krysan, Maria, Kristin A. Moore, Ph. D. , and Nicholas Zill, Ph. D. Identifying Successful Families: An Overview of Constructs and Selected Measures, Child Trends, Inc. May 10, 1990 Lewis, Jerry M. , & John G. Looney. 1983. The long struggle:. Well-functioning working class black families. New York: Brunner/Mazel. Mellor, K; Mellor, E The happy family. Sydney, NSW: Finch Publishing, 2001, 120p, tables, figures. Smalley, Gary. The Secret of a Close-Knit Family or Relationship. 2005 Smalley Relationship CenterSample Essay of RushEssay.com