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Grieving Process

1. The best and most comprehensive way to define grief is that it is an emotional process following the death of someone we loved. The answer is false. We define grief as a process which is not only limited to the emotional aspect but also involves the “psychological, social, spiritual and somatic” (Evans, Grief defined) aspects of the grieving person. To add, it happens not only during the death of a loved one but also in other cases of a “perception of loss” (Evans, Grief defined). Death may be considered as a form of loss, but loss is not transitively categorical to death alone.

2. Lynda’s son had an accident that left him unable to use his right arm. Lynda is feeling guilty for not attending more of her son’s baseball games prior to the accident. She feels she let her son down. Lynda is experiencing loss-causation guilt. The answer is true in the sense that Lynda feels that she did not do something that she thinks she should have, the so-called act of omission, and that she should have attended more to the activities like the baseball games that her son was involved in (Evans, Grief and Guilt).

Somehow, I would like to add that being the mother, she could likewise be feeling “cultural-role guilt” (Evans, Grief and Guilt) because cultural norms demand that it was her responsibility to attend to her son’s activities, and she thinks that the accident is a proof that she does not uphold the role of attending to her son’s activities as given to her by culture. 3. The way a person grieves is determined by his/her gender. I believe that gender influences the way that a person grieves. Men and women have different ways of grieving.

In most women, “grief involves the entire being [where they] show, express or communicate their grief, for the most part, more than men” (Holguin, Men vs. women’s grief, March 10). Women are said to invoke the “correct” way of grieving which has been normatized as the feminine way, or the way which involves an expression of their feelings and the openness to share their grief. Men, on the other hand, “grieve in a masculine way [such that] they suppress or hide their feelings” (Lawson, Differences between men and women, March 9).

However, as some researchers point out, while gender could influence the grieving pattern of a person, this pattern is not exactly determined by gender (Textbook author, date). There are also women who do act “masculine” in as much as there are men who act “feminine” in their way of grieving. Some men “do cry” in dealing with grief (Holguin, A man cries, March 18). Men’s way of showing grief may have “to do with the lifestyle they lived and even how they were raised” (Keohane, Response: Difference between men and women, March 25). 4. a.

Provide a thoughtful discussion of the individual or individuals you believe to be at risk for complicated grief. Be sure to explain why you think they are at risk. I believe that the people who are at most risk for complicated grief are the ones with an immediate involvement with the problematic factor (Bob). First, Peg seems to be the most at risk person since she is considered to have a big attachment to the relationship she has with her husband. According to Freud, “when we lose anyone or anything with which we have an attachment, we are losing a part of the self” (Evans, Identity).

Attachment to a relationship therefore becomes a strong ground for high risk of experiencing complicated grief. Similarly, Peg and Bob’s children are also susceptible to experiencing complicated grief, following from the fact that they too have an attachment with their father. Their reactions may not have been mentioned in the vignette, but it could be assumed once again that the relationship they have with Bob will ensue reactions from and a lasting effect on them, which may turn out to be risk factors for complicated grief.

Lastly, Bob himself may also experience risk for complicated grief since he is the source of conflict and loss, and he could be feeling an intense guilt over his actuations. The guilt that he may be feeling, although not mentioned in the vignette, may be the pushing factor for a probable complicated grief. b. Briefly, discuss some of the specific grief reactions Peg is likely to experience given her particular situation. This might include, but definitely not be limited to, the type(s) of complicated grief, if you believe she is at risk and did not already discuss these in the first question.

As have been mentioned, Peg is the most at-risk person since she has the most direct involvement with her husband. Following from the types of complicated grief, there is a possibility that indeed, her grief from the loss presented by Bob’s situation could reach at maximum point. This means that she could experience these following types of grief: (1) delayed grief is possible since she only learned about the loss (her husband’s gambling problem which led to financial problem, household problem, and relationship problem), and yet, she was forced to face it, allowing not much time to ponder about it.

She was left with no choice but to follow what Bob had said: to leave for another state where their family could live (supposedly more peacefully). The risk factor was the overwhelming feeling brought by the traumatic loss mentioned above. (2) She may also have to experience inhibited grief since she cannot openly express the loss. First, her husband is in jail, and there is no easy way to communicate to him, probably blame him, talk to him, or express what she feels about the situation.

Second, she must assume the strong role since she is supposedly the “second highest” in rank inside the household. Technically, since Bob is in jail, she must gain hold of being the head of the family; therefore, she cannot fall apart in the eyes of her children. Third, even though she may have some support from her brother, the fact remains that he lives 350 miles away and therefore could not attend to the effects of the loss she is experiencing.

Lastly, since she is far away from the community where she stayed for long, and considering the fact that she is being condemned by her former community to have been as guilty as Bob, she does not have the support system needs for coping. (3) Incidentally, conflicted grief may also be experienced, this time towards the source of loss, which is Bob. There might be a feeling of anger for not knowing about Bob’s gabling activities and the ensuing effects, and of course, an unfinished business could be seen as a risk factor.

The immediacy of having to depart to another state did not have an ample time for her and Bob to talk out the conflict (or loss). There is a needed asking for forgiveness from Bob’s part and giving of forgiveness on Peg’s part. (4) If these three types of complicated grief will fuse, Peg is in no doubt at great risk for chronic grief. (Evans, Complicated Grief). 5. a. What could you do/say to be supportive of … Peg and to facilitate her grief? Is there any information or suggestions you would offer her that might help her to effectively cope?

What would you try to avoid saying or doing? It is important for Peg to learn about Rando’s “Six R-Processes. ” First, it is good that at least, she has recognized that there is a loss, and the loss is real and is being perceived. Although it may take her time to accept the validity or even a justification for it, it is already a starting point for acceptance. She should also be able to express her emotions and her grief; she must acquire a support system that could help facilitate her coping process.

She must be able to learn to think and talk about the loss so that she could look at the process or the path she underwent and from there, be able to extract possible solutions to her loss and its consequences. She must find other outlets that could be of practical help for her. Although it must be understood that the coping process is a tedious and long work, it is also significant to note that she should not be forced to do what she may not be ready to accept yet. There will always be the right time to reinvest her relationship to other aspects and people (Evans, Rando’s Model of Grief).

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