How to make sex more exciting
This paper deals with one’s daily sex life, and how one can attempt to make sex more exciting in daily life. The paper will analyze several aspects of sex like foreplay, the different positions to adopt during sex, and the best techniques that one can use for greater sexual fulfillment. It will also analyze sexual education, and how it would help in sex, and in improving relations and bring in better communication between two partners.
Today, sex education can be very important because it is a scientifically proven fact that when sex education is taken seriously, not only would young people be able to make better informed choices about their behavior, but they would also gain greater self confidence in choosing a particular action out of the many choices they may have. Sex education is in effect the process of gathering vital information about sex, the sexual relationship between two partners, sexual identity, and the sex act in itself.
In schools and colleges today, it is increasingly being acknowledged that young people have the right to sex education, and that sex education would help young people protect themselves not only from unwanted pregnancies, but also from sexually transmitted diseases and so on. Today, this can be more of a life skill than just a factual representation of a multitude of details about sex.
For example, a young person who could communicate, negotiate and identify various sources of help would be able to use the same skills in his future as well, and effective sex education would help him deal with contingencies in later life. (Forrest, Simon, Kanabus, Annabel 2007) Among other aspects of the sex act, foreplay can be one of the most exciting and stimulating, say researchers. Foreplay is in essence the erotic stimulation that partners engage in before the real act is performed.
However, it is important to remember that foreplay in itself can be an immensely pleasurable act, and it need not be considered as a mere preliminary to other activities that will follow. Also referred to as ‘outercourse’, foreplay can involve sexual contact that dos not involve actual intercourse, and this form of contact is being widely advocated today because of the increased prevalence of dreaded sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS. Outercourse can refer to all actions that may lead to intercourse, except that it stops before the penis is inserted into the vagina or into any other bodily cavity.
When the sexual contact is between two consenting individuals, then foreplay can be an extremely stimulating and invigorating experience, as it prepares the body and the mind and emotions to progress towards the ultimate release, the orgasm. One must note that touch can be a very important part of foreplay, and that certain parts of the human body, known as ‘erogenous zones’ are densely covered with nerve endings that can be stimulated in order to receive and give pleasure.
This is the reason that touching in all forms, like for example, caressing, hugging, and other similar forms of physical intimacy between the two involved persons, and the communication of certain important cultural meanings about caring, safety, and arousal, can be vitally important acts related to foreplay. Not only does this make the sexual act more enjoyable, but it also leads to a form of mental communication between the partners, and this can be extremely important in a long term relationship.
(Discovery Health 2007) “…those things which increase passion should be done first, and those which are only for amusement or variety should be done afterwards” These are words taken from the famed Kamasutra, the Indian book of sex, which describes in great interesting detail the various positions that can be used by a man and a woman when they are engaging in acts of sexual intimacy with each other.
(Karene 2007) Questions about sex positions could be termed as some of the most common questions posed to sex educators and researchers, and it is true that there are more than a hundred sex positions, and each one can be tried out by the partners involved, depending upon the mood, their health, and their energy levels. As educators like to say, it is more a question of creativity, and one must be able to make use of one’s creativity in sex, as one would in his other aspects of life.
While it is true that physical positioning can lead to several new ways to position one’s limbs and body, the movement of the couple can also be very important. One must adopt the movement that suits the need of hour; at times one may prefer a slow and easy thrusting movement, while at others, one may prefer a more robust and energetic pounding. It would depend upon the foreplay that one has indulged in before the actual sexual act of intercourse, and also depend upon the present mood of both the partners.
Not many people are aware of the fact that the basic angle of penetration can also be vital in reaching fulfillment in sexual intercourse. A change in the angle of penetration can bring either greater or lesser pleasure for both the partners, and it may be up to the individuals involved to discover what suits them best. For example, while one angle may serve to stimulate more, another may be more comfortable. In the same way, no matter what position one uses, and what stimulation one has indulged in earlier, it may all fail to give pleasure, if the rhythm is not right.
One must remember that unless both the partners are in sync with each other, and develop an excellent and mutual rhythm, the entire act of penetration can be quite unsuccessful. Similarly, the speed in which the entire act is performed can be very important. There are some individuals, who apparently do not know that the longer the time one spends in the act of intercourse, the more fulfillment it would bring them; instead, they may prefer to invest a mere five to ten minutes in the entire act, and this can leave both the partners completely frustrated and dissatisfied.
Experts also state that in the pursuit of fulfillment, one tends to lay more emphasis on genital positioning rather than on the equally important aspect of the positioning of one’s limbs, especially since it is a fact that one’s entire body is available for stimulation. Therefore, one’s hands, feet, toes, fingers, can all be used in attaining a better position for sex, and the best position can pave the way to greater sex. (Silverberg, Cory 2007) There can be several different techniques in which to have sex, and it would be best if both the partners were to gather some information about these before carrying on.
After all, one’s daily life can become much more exciting if there were to be better communication, in the form of sex. One of the best methods for such communication can be the sensual massage. This involves the partners using sensual and stimulating oils, or even one’s body to give the other a complete head to toe massage. This can be soothing, as well as exciting, and can be one of the best methods of foreplay, and since good foreplay leads to better satisfaction, the sensual massage can be ideal for those wishing to improve their sex life.
One technique advocated by experts is the so called ‘coital alignment technique’, which would ‘enhance intimate connection’. This involves the man sliding a few inches more than the normal missionary position requires, thereby making sure his body lies flat against his partner’s. His penis would then touch the female’s clitoris, and while she raises her pelvis to his, he must start a gentle rocking movement. This technique makes use of a rhythmic rocking movement, instead of the traditional thrusting movement.
Another technique that can be used to prolong the act of lovemaking is the ‘riding the waves’ method, one that is generally advocated for those individuals who tend to reach orgasm rather quickly. This technique involves both the partners bringing each other to the very brink of orgasm, and then taking a few deep breaths in order to bring the feeling under control. If this were to be followed three times, the fourth and final time would be able to give a much stronger and intense release than expected. Erotic talk and communication is yet another sex technique that can be promoted for a better sex life.
This method involves talking in sexual terms either before the act, during, or after. This can lead to greater communication, and can enhance the relationship a great deal. One example of erotic talk is when one partner tells the other what exactly he or she would like him or her to do to him or her. A fantasy can also be shared in this way and perhaps acted out. However, it is important to keep the partner’s comfort level in mind at all times; after all, sexual union is not just a union of the body but also of the mind, and one must make sure that unseen lines are never breached in the pursuit of one’s own happiness.
The art of seduction can be related directly to this factor, and this may involve nothing more than a small comment that would enhance the other’s self esteem in such a way that he would feel good about himself before he starts indulging in the sexual act. A simple statement like, “You look gorgeous tonight” may do the trick. (Better Sex n. d. ) To conclude, it must be stated that since sex is a part and parcel of one’s daily life, one may follow the time tested methods and techniques that would serve to bring in changes and improvements in one’s life, and which may mean better communication and bonding between two partners.
After all, one’s everyday sex life can be greatly exciting and stimulating, if one merely took a deeper interest in studying it, and then implemented the techniques and methods that are advocated by experts.
1. Forrest, Simon, Kanabus, Annabel (2007) Avert What is sex education? Retrieved on November 30, 2007 from AVERT. org Database http://www. avert. org/sexedu. htm 2. Discovery Health (2007) Sexual Health, Foreplay Retrieved on November 30, 2007 from Discovery health database http://health. discovery. com/centers/sex/sexpedia/foreplay.html
3. Karene, (2007) Kamasutra Sex Positions Kamasutra Sex Positions Retrieved on November 30, 2007 from Indian Philosophy of Sex Webpage Database http://www. spaceandmotion. com/kamasutra-positions. htm 4. Silverberg, Cory (2007) All about Sex Positions Thinking creatively about sex positions Retrieved on November 30, 2007 from About. com Database http://sexuality. about. com/od/sexualpositions/a/sexposition. htm 5. Better Sex (n. d. ) Better sex tips and sex techniques Retrieved on November 30, 2007 from Better Sex DatabaseSample Essay of RushEssay.com