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Proposals of New Approach to Human Sexuality

Sex and sexuality are subjects which caused our extreme interest in all times, and our times are not and our times are not an exclusion. Our whole culture actually revolves around relations between man and woman and relations between a man and a woman revolve around sexual behavior. Here we mean “man” and “woman” as gender roles, because even in homosexual couples one of the partners accepts an active role, usually associated with man, and another – a passive role usually associated with woman. As anything in the world, sexual relations have a purpose, even two purposes: child-bearing and enjoyment.

This proposal is aimed to demonstrate how these two aims can be achieved in modern society in the most “cost-effective” way. There are different approaches to sex and sexual problems. One extreme in this matter is represented by famous marital therapist David Schnarch. Schnarch is first and foremost a doctor and he views sex as a medical phenomena. For him sexual problems are a result of physiological disorder or discomfort of psychological problems and can be cured as any other medical distress. In his book “Resurrecting Sex” Schnarch discusses “sexual problems plaguing couples around the world ”. But what is the content of Schnarch’s work?

Difficulties with orgasm, medical aspects, orgasm, etc. It seems that Schnarch considers sex to be a kind of mechanism, which can be repaired in case a correct manual is used. Another extreme in modern approach to sexuality can be found Georg Feuerstein’s “Sacred Sexuality”. Feuerstein is actually an expert in oriental religious practices. So he naturally concentrates (almost exclusively) on spiritual aspects of sex as a sacred practice. Feuerstein attempts to resolve the present sexual dilemma by explaining, that Christianity caused the Western world to think of sex as of a sin resulting in sexual ignorance and bigotry.

Feuerstein’s solution is acceptance of oriental approach to sex. The book is plenteously filled with “success stories” of adepts of this approach . Yet, Feuerstein’s idea would sound as a panacea half a century ago. But the sexual revolution of the sixties is in the past already, so sex is no longer a sin. Oriental practices are also known on the West, but we still continue speaking of “new approach”. This means, that “old approaches” are not so effective. The easiest would be to combine technical approach of Schnarch and spiritual one of Feuerstein in a new sexual ideology.

However this would likely result in yet another abortive combination. Here we should mind that sex is an important part of our life, but it is only a part. Both Schnarch’s and Feuerstein’s approaches are faulty because they consider only a part of the problem as the whole problem. In contrast to this we should view sex in context of our life, but not as isolated element. A depressive person would hardly enjoy sex, even with yoga techniques. A person feeling satisfaction from life will probably enjoy sex even without sophisticated methods. So what are the concrete steps in creating a view of sex in context.

According to research conducted by the Government of Australia, most sexual problems are hardly related to sexual techniques (see Annex 1). For most men and women the main problem is simple lack of interest to sex. Second go the concerns about body image. And only then follow such matters as absence of orgasm and other points of study of professor Schnarch . So the first advice in solving sexual problems is healthy lifestyle (sports, healthy food, etc. ), bettering body image and body state, resulting in greater sexual desire. To explain the second step we need to once more recall Feuerstein’s book.

He speaks of sex as a sacred act. However, in our society sex can hardly be called a sacred thing. After the sexual revolution we are overloaded with sex, which has lost an element of mystique. As a result we do lose interest to sex as something too well-known. Sexual hints in advertisement, sexual episodes in virtually every film, availability of pornography contribute to sexual frustration more than any prohibitions. Moreover, this causes more sex crime because people want something forbidden . We need to make attitudes to sex more reserved in order to return a taste of “forbidden fruit”, more stimulating, than any XXX magazine.

The third step towards new doctrine about sex should be changes in sex education of children. Surprisingly, we can observe most sexual problems in those countries, where sex education of youth is most developed. Current model results rather in more underage pregnancy, but not in better sexual life . The matter is that current western sex education concentrates on scientific and technical issues without sufficient moral evaluation and without explaining responsibility for own sexual behavior. Therefore, we need a fundamental reform of our sex education.

The age when sex education starts should, perhaps, not be changed and remain at 12-13 years, when teenagers start feeling interest to sex. However, we need to firstly explain the moral aspects and responsibility of sexual relations, rather than how to use condoms. At this we should not make teenagers feel that sex is a sin, we should relate sex to love and answerability before the partner. Sex should be explained as matter of both, but not as an act of enjoyment. The general idea should be: “you may have sex when you are morally ready” and “healthy and successful people have better sex”.

Another aspect is that general model of sexual behavior proposed to teenagers should be changed towards popularizing stable relations with final aim of creating a family. Consequently, there are three elements of viewing sex in context: better lifestyle, reserved relation to sex and changes in sex education. In the light of this sex techniques, proposed by Schnarch and Feuerstein appear to be rather a matter of taste.

Works Cited:

1. David Schnarch, James Maddock. (2003) Resurrecting Sex: Solving Sexual Problems and Revolutionizing Your Relationship.Harper Paperbacks. 2. Georg Feuerstein (2003) Sacred Sexuality: The Erotic Spirit in the World’s Great Religions. Inner Traditions International, Limited. 3. Frodi, Ann (1977): Sexual Arousal, Situational Restrictiveness, and Aggressive Behavior. Journal of Research in Personality, 11 4. John Slater (2000) Britain: Sex Education Under Fire. Times Educational Supplement. 7. 5. Retrieved May 21, 2008 from Department of Family and Community Services of Australian Government web site: http://www. ofw. facs. gov. au/publications/wia/chapter3. html ANNEX 1.

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