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Sexual Identity

As a teenager living in the 1980’s I am apprehensive about asking any one questions, concerning my sexual identity because I am afraid that I will be shunned by my family and I am also concerned about adopting children, one day, and I would like to research books on gay parenting. I visited my local library anticipating finding various books concerning homosexuality and I found several that have proven beneficial in answering many questions and offering so much advice on the subject of being a homosexual. I started my research project by finding an interesting book by Frederick W.

Bozett, (Bozett, 1987) who is a professor and a leading scholar in the study of gay and lesbian parents and their children. He enlightened me on the subject of homosexuality where he explained the effect that homosexuality has on the entire family. As a homosexual, I often wonder if I will be able to adopt children, one day, and if I can be a respected and accepted part of my community. Professor Bozett was helpful when he answered my question by explaining that, “Homosexuality is more accepted in the 1980’s and there are an increasing number of homosexual parents who are raising successful children.

” I’m happy that he feels that a homosexual can be a wonderful parent. I found another useful book by Brian McNaught (McNaught, 1989) who discussed how “Meeting other homosexuals would make me feel better about my own sexuality. ” He was very forthright about discussing the best ways to meet other gay people and how I should carefully select my gay lover, being sure that I want to date this person for the right reasons. (Muller, 1987) Ann Muller was the third book that I checked out and it was a source that will assist me when the time comes for me to talk to my parents about their child being gay.

The title of the book is “Parents Matter: Parents Relationships with Lesbian Daughter And Gay Sons. ” I selected this title because I have been concerned how my parents will react when I finally come out of the closet and how I will help them to deal with my homosexuality. Muller tells us that “Lesbians probably have greater difficulty being accepted by their parents, which she attributes to rigid-sex-role definitions that keep some people from approving of single, successful women.

She also mentions that “Freudian and neo-Freudian psychology have sent a negative message that the combination of a dominant mother and weak dad results in gay children. ” She was correct when she talks about how a parent’s reaction to their gay child greatly matters. I do feel that my parents won’t understand my being homosexual and I do hope that they will be understanding and try to accept the fact that I am a gay teenager who wants to be open in their sexuality and can discuss issues with them.

My parents will be shocked when I tell them that I am gay, so I’ll take notes from the book written by Ann Muller and I will carefully explain to them that I am not ashamed of my sexuality and neither should they be. I was excited to find a book written by Joy A. Schulenburg, (Schulenburg, 1985) because she gave me information to assist me in finding other books that will answer many of my questions about homosexuality. She is an interesting author who is especially careful in discussing issues on being gay and I was able to identify with her writing when she discussed some of the social issues concerning being gay.

Joe Grantz, (Grantz, 1983) explains that “Being gay isn’t something that one should feel ashamed about. ” He expresses that there are many homosexuals in the United States who are afraid to talk about their sexuality and who remain quiet because of the way they feel that society will treat them. Being a gay teenager is hard for me in many ways but through reading and talking to other homosexuals, I feel that I will be better able to cope with some of the issues facing the gay society. I plan to spend more time at the library, learning about homosexuality so I will be more apt to discuss some of the social concerns with my family.

I am especially concerned with the prospect of adopting children, one day, and I was impressed by the book titled, “Gay and Lesbian Parents. ” Now, that I have guidance and important information from this book, I will be better able to address the issue of adopting children. I was very concerned about how an adopted child would accept me as a parent, and now that I have researched this book by Frederick W. Bozett, I can eagerly anticipate making plans one day to adopt children and be a respected authority figure to the child.

I learned by participating in this study that being a homosexual can be very complicated for a teenager. Not only does the person have to deal with their own concerns about being gay, but they also have to find clever ways of discussing the hushed issue with their friends and families. I also learned that homosexuals can adopt children and raise them to be exceptional people in society. Homosexual parents can raise a child in a household that can be open and honest about their sexuality and in a home where the child is more educated on being homosexual.

There are many homosexual parents who raise straight children and there are several groups that offer support through discussions and stories about their own sexuality. I discovered that many parents aren’t always understanding when it comes to their own children being gay. Sometimes, they would rather that their homosexual child wouldn’t discuss the issue with them. Many of the parents would have rather not known, even though there was no denying the fact. I was surprised that there are so many homosexuals who never discuss their sexuality in fear of being treated differently.

I feel that each person, whether they are gay or straight, must come to terms with their own sexuality and be able to be open and honest about who they truly are and what role they want to play in society. I learned that homosexuals are very private most of the time and would rather be open about their feelings. I feel that if society would be more understanding and accepting of homosexuality that it would make life so much easier for the teenager who is wanting to express their identity. Teenagers in America can go to their local libraries and learn more about being able to be honest about their feelings and their sexuality.

Being able to go to the library will give the gay teen a means in learning more about being homosexual and about dealing with society. I never really understood how many hardships there were for the gay teenagers nor the many hurdles that they would have to cross in order to feel better about who they were in society. I understand, now, that homosexuals, as well as straight people desire to have their own families, through natural childbirth as well as through adoption agencies. Through education, the homosexual teen can learn all about the process of adoption and how they might increase their chances of adopting a child.

I also learned that a homosexual teenager must be extremely careful in selecting their lover and shouldn’t jump at the first person who claims that they are gay. There are many homosexuals in America and one should not settle for a person just because they think that they must pair up with that person, who may not be the right person, in order to be in a gay relationship. Homosexuals, I feel, do truly desire to be an accepted part of society and they would love to stop being abused and ridiculed, ritually, just because they are different in their sexuality.By writing this essay, I have learned to be more aware of people’s feelings and to be more open in my opinions about sexuality.

Bozett, Frederick W. , 1987, Gay and Lesbian Parents; Praezer Publishers, p. 76 McNaught, Brian, 1989, Thoughts on Family, Faith and Love; St. Martin’s Griffin, p. 5 Muller, Ann, 1987, Parents Matter: Parent’s Relationships with Lesbian Daughters and Gay Sons, Naird Press, p. 34 Schulenburg, Joy A. , 1985, Gay Parenting, Double Day Books; First Edition, p. 88 Grantz, Joe, 1983, Whose Child Cries: Children of Gay Parents Talk About Their Lives; Jalmar Press

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