My experience in life as I grow up with regards to power in our family relationship is pretty much the same with other people who grew up with a kind of authoritative parenting style. As I have understood, the kind of parenting style that is used to raise the children in a family is one of the factors that affect the ongoing set of complex and subtle maneuvers at getting one’s way in the dynamic interaction of families.
My mother and father makes the final decision and are the ones responsible for setting up rules in the family but they always make it a point that they consult us, their children, and values our opinions whenever the topic is something that concerns the whole family especially if it has something to do with us (i. e. , studies). This kind of situation made me feel like the power is equally distributed between each one of us, that if my parents have a little more power over us, it is because it is the norm for the parents to have control over their young children part of the normative power base that they usually have.
It may also be because they have the economic power base since they have the money to support us and we cling to this money for us to survive. It may also be cognitive, since they know more about life and facts than we do. However, I also believe that as time passed by and I acquired new knowledge and experience as I become an adolescent, this power distribution became more balanced. In time have slowly advanced in economic and cognitive bases and have, in a way, equaled my parents and all the members of the family.
By then, normative, economic and cognitive bases have become less a factor and the personal and affective bases have played a more important role. Other power processes have also become part of the negotiation, as in parent-child alliances (Stockard. 2002. ) and the principle of least interest (Waller. 1938. ) For more concrete example, I will narrate some of my experiences growing up when I have felt that I have the power. Once, when we are going into a family vacation and we haven’t decided yet on where to go, I got to choose the place over my brother.
This happens because of the way my parents created situations in which we could have the freedom to participate in the decision-making processes of the family without favoring anyone. In this case, our father told us that whoever got the higher GPA in class would have the chance to choose the place that we are going to visit. I got the higher mark and so I was the one who chose the place and nobody questioned my decision because it was all agreed upon by the members of the family. I definitely have the power and it was based on the quality a student that I have become.
Also, when we look at it the other way, that kind of situation did not only give us a peaceful way of negotiating our issues in the family. It has also created an atmosphere wherein my brother and I are in a constant competition in making it better in our class so that we are unconsciously being forced to study hard. We have gained this kind of conditioning because of the possibility of having a reward and that reward is something with which we could exercise our power over other members of our family. Another thing that I noticed is something that also happens to my friends and not only with my family.
Whenever I become good at reasoning and I have helped them many times, I seem to get things the way I want easier than I expected. This seems to be coming from my cognitive and affective bases. Because of my good reasoning, they instantly believe what I say. And because I have gained their affection through helping them in times of need, they are also willing to help me with what I need. To sum up, the power in our family is affected by a lot of things, power bases and power processes that makes our negotiation somewhat complex.
However, with all my experiences growing up and as I become an adolescent, I can say that the power outcome in our family has resulted in a well-balanced and equality distributed one that each of the members of our family have control over oneself and as a family, we also have control over what is happening to us. Reference: Jory, B. (____) Family Relationships in Marriage and Family Encyclopedia retrieved from Works Cited: Stockard, J. (2002). Marriage in Culture: Practice and Meaning across Diverse Societies. New York: Harcourt. Waller, W. (1938, revised 1951). The Family: A Dynamic Interpretation. New York: Dryden.Sample Essay of Paperial.com