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Grudges and Forgiveness

Holding grudges is never recommended and is not advisable for people to do. It is always better to have good relationships with everyone because there would be no frictions that would create problems. However, there are instances when conflicts would arise because these cannot be avoided. Majority would like to live a positive life and believe in forgiving and forgetting but there are those who would prefer holding grudges and let the negative emotions stay with them. For the most part, holding grudges do not really have benefits but people who dwell on it see some advantages.

One of these advantages is that “they want to exact rewards, benefits, or concessions from the perpetrator; because they believe that holding the grudge will help prevent the transgression from being repeated, and therefore cannot easily put this behind them” (Worthington 102). This would make the person who hurt them feel guilty about the situation. They would not have peace of mind knowing that the people they hurt still cannot forgive them. Some people also use this to obtain revenge from their perpetrators because they would feel that their perpetrators would comply with their demands because they have to make up for their actions.

“Sometimes holding on to a grudge and repeatedly reminding the offender of his or her misdeed is satisfying because it makes the victim feel morally superior to the offender” (Schimmel 38). It is satisfying in the sense that it although the person was hurt, it does not mean that he or she is the one who will suffer. Seeing the person suffer because it makes him or her inferior in terms of ethics and morality is satisfying and makes holding grudges justifiable and worth it.

Although there are people who actually find these benefits acceptable, it must be remembered that there is no point in keeping grudges because it only uses the person’s energy when he or she thinks about the situation and the perpetrator. Letting go and forgetting is still the best way to heal and become a better person. Works Cited Schimmel, Solomon. Wounds Not Healed by Time. New York: Oxford University Press, 2002. Worthington, Everett L. Dimensions of Forgiveness. Pennsylvania: Templeton Foundation Press, 1998.

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