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Trains and buses

The feeling of being unwelcome is really annoying. Being in a place where you are a total outcast is really depressing. It makes one feel uneasy and humiliated at some point. Having too much weight often put someone in a scenario that makes him/her an outsider. This I can attest through the story of my friend Gina. Gina is a beautiful and charming lady. The only problem with her is her body size. She is overweight for her age and it does not compensate her height. She is fat that she looks shorter than her height. There are many instances that Gina loses her confidence because of her size.

She feels that she does not belong in places where people are skinny and tall. Outcast as she calls herself whenever she rides on trains and buses and see people who are just the right size. It always saddens her emotions and feels like jumping of the vehicle right away. It also makes her paranoid because she feels like people are talking about her and criticizing her for being like that. Although she is blessed with a pretty face, she views herself as an ugly duckling because of the calories surrounding her body. Being makes her loose her senses and guts.

I recall one time when she told me she is having a huge crush on her neighbor Tom. When she was invited to her crush’s birthday, she readied herself and dress up with her favorite dress that shows off her best asset. It won’t take time for her to fix up herself because she is beautiful even in simple clothing. But the obvious fact that she is fat makes her unconfident and ugly. Upon entering the event’s hall, she felt butterflies raging in her stomach because she feels really uncomfortable of the crowd. Everyone looks brilliant because they are thin and has model like period. Maybe it’s because the celebrant is an athlete himself.

This caught Gina off guard because she sees herself not as sexy as everyone else who was present there. She feels like an outsider who gate crashes the party with an inappropriate get up. Depression and anxiety made Gina consider herself as an outsider. Her big body size made her an introvert who would rather lock herself inside her room rather than mingle with other people. Tom’s birthday made her realize that it is time for her to gain some courage and work out for her health’s benefit. She wanted to try something else and so she decided to work out all the way to achieving a slender body.

There is nothing permanent in this world except change. Gina convinced herself that she will never be an outsider anymore just because she is obese. She rushed to the gym center and signed up for some gym lessons. Just as her gym sessions were about to began, Gina again was attacked by her anxious feelings. Her thoughts occupied her mind again and gave her the feeling of an outsider. She considers herself as an intruder who is trying hard to work out in a gym. She feels that she is just a big tub of lard who occupies a large space in the gym. She walks out of the place immediately and went home.

She confined herself inside her room and busied herself in eating pints of ice cream and bags of chips. The outsider feeling never went off Gina’s mind. She always considers herself as a sidekick to people who possess the right size. She always allows shame and embarrassment occupy her during social gatherings. I feel sorry for my friend because she can consider herself not an outsider only if she wanted to. I am willing to help her achieve confidence and gain a healthy life style. I believe someday she can go out of her cocoon and mingle among people without hesitations, without the feeling and thinking of an outsider.

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