Divorce outcomes on children
Divorce refers to the termination of marriage, in which case all the responsibilities, legal obligations and the matrimony bonds of a married couple are dissolved. For this to be possible the due legal process has to be followed and thus a judge or other judicial authorities has to be involved. A divorce simply cancels the marital status of a couple, but does not nullify a marriage (Stewart, & Brentano, 2006). The divorce effects on children depend on the gender, age and personality of the child. It also depends on the intensity of the conflict and the support that the child obtains from family, relatives and friends.
The effects are more serious if the child is a teenager at the time when the divorce takes place, or the child involved is a girl. The situation worsens more if there conflict among the parents was severe and if the children fail to get support from family, friends and relatives (Parker, n. d). Effects of Divorce on Children Almost in all cases, divorce is a very traumatizing experience especially to the children regardless of their age or level of development. They are incapable of dealing adequately with the numerous problems accompanying divorce.
Support from close relatives and family members are usually not forth coming, or it is not enough to help the children emotionally during such difficult times. They therefore, feel deserted and lack the very love that they need more. The commencement of the divorce usually causes a lot pain to children. This often results to a lot of grief as they observe helplessly their families disintegrating and the loss of the love they have always experienced. The loss of an intact family life makes the children feel angered as the family order is disrupted and a strong feeling of hopelessness (Leon, 2004).
As a result of divorce, children face the fear of abandonment; they have to be detached from either their mother or their father. At times they are also separated from their siblings, when the children have to be divided among the parents. Children loose the natural attachment that they have towards their parents and other relationships they have developed over time with pets, neighbors and their brothers and sisters which definitely mean so much to them. An absolutely impossible situation is usually created for the children due to the tension existing between their parents.
In many cases, the parents try to win the love of their children by discrediting the other spouse. A child is thus divided between the love of either the mother or the dad who both try to proof to them that they still love them (Stewart, & Brentano, 2006). Children who have their parents divorced lack good parenting, which make them vulnerable to many social ills. They usually look for love, care and protection from the wrong people thus making them ideal candidates of joining the rotten side of the society.
In most cases, they end up joining the bad wagon of drug and substance abuse. This is usually quite easy for them since they have no one by their side to pay attention to them and also due to the fact that their parents try to win them by giving them money which eventually is used in the acquisition of drugs (Eleoff, 2003). Conclusion Even though at times it is inevitable to avoid divorce, parents should always consider the plight of their sons and daughters before divorcing.
They should as much as possible try to solve their marital problems in such a way that they come up with a solution that is good for all the family members and especially the children. Upon divorce, parents should as much as possible continue providing good parental care to their children even though it might be a bit tricky at times. They should continue supporting them both morally and financially. Such children should also be well counseled so as to be in a position to deal effectively with the great challenges ahead.
Reference:
Eleoff, S (2003): Divorce Effects on Children: Retrieved on 8th April from, http://www. childadvocate. net/divorce_effects_on_children. htm. Leon, K. (2004): Helping Children Understand Divorce: Retrieved on 8th April from, http://extension. missouri. edu/xplor/hesguide/humanrel/gh6600. htm. Parker, W. (n. d): Why Children are impacted by Divorce: Retrieved on 8th April from, http://fatherhood. about. com/cs/divorceddads/a/divorcekids. htm. Stewart, A. C. & Brentano, C. (2006): Divorce: causes and consequences: ISBN 0300110448, Yale University Press.
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