Hope Publishing House
In his book, Guernsey discusses love and family relationship with particular focus on the role of parents. Among the views he presents, what strike me most are his views that parents should be moved by Grace alone, understand the covenant of God’s love, and serve as good memory makers for their children. In the following paragraphs I will discuss how I can relate with the views he presented. According to Guernsey, parents must be moved by Grace alone. Indeed, it is always safe to live in God’s grace and do His holy will.
By God’s grace means that we act based on God’s unconditional and undying love. Guernsey presents the dilemma that most parents face nowadays: how they would discipline their children without being antagonistic to them. Truly, even Christ himself said that there will be division among families if the world will act according to God’s will. Therefore, although it would hurt one’s child, the parent should always be there to counsel children if what they are doing is wrong. After all, the truth shall set them free.
The parent should not be afraid to be hated at times by their children, if it would mean directing them towards what is beneficial to them at the end. Moreover, loving a person does not mean loving what the person does. We could love the person but hate what s/he does, so if we truly love them, we will tell them straight if what they are doing is wrong. In our family, our parents serve as our critics. Although at times we seem to feel that our parents are acting so unreal and overly protective, we later realize that what they are doing is for our own sake.
The covenant of God’s love tells us that no matter what happens, even if we do something wrong, God will never leave or forsake us. As, a parent, one should express love for their family even in times of trials. Children should feel that their parents are with them in every step of the way. For instance, recognition matters most and is very significant. Parents must learn to recognize what is good about their children and never compare one from another. There are times when we feel this way, but what is important is to associate with our family members and not let ourselves be left alone.
Also, husbands and wives should love each other under the covenant of God, that is, never fail each other or leave the other in difficult times. Another view presented by Guernsey, which particularly captures my interest is for a parent to serve as good memory makers for their children. There are times when a parent feels so down that they do not care about what their temper could do for their children. In the book, we can learn that part of good parenting is to provide good memories to our children and not pass on to them the bad memories we have.
In turn, children would also give good memories to their parents because love begets love. Although I have not reached the point of parenthood, I was struck by the line, “Nowhere is God’s love more needed than in the parenting process. There are no perfect people here, only struggles. ” (p. 47) It seems that the role of parents is difficult to imagine. It may be easy to provide kids with their basic needs—food, shelter, clothing, even attention. What makes it difficult is to discern how they should be when they grow up.
Truly, when kids are little we can easily make them do what they want but when they reach the teenage years, the trouble between them and their parents arises because the feelings become distant, the parent cannot understand what the child wants and vice versa. Even so, as the author suggests, we could always count on God’s eternal grace to guide us in every path. Reference Guernsey, D. (1984). The Family Covenant: Love & Forgiveness in the Christian Home. California: Hope Publishing House.
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